A look at Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engaging with Everyday Life by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Part 4 LOVING OUR FATE, SUMMARY & FINAL THOUGHTS

by Jennifer Boddaert

In Chapter 9, the final Chapter, Csikszentmihalyi tackles the idea of “Loving Our Fate”.
Here he indicates how culturally North American values have fostered Individualism
and Materialism that have eroded our sense of purpose or meaning in life. It has
fostered such disabling tendencies as disillusionment and lack of commitments.

He states that; “One cannot lead a life that is truly excellent without feeling that one
belongs to something greater and more permanent than oneself,” while also lamenting
the fact that much of our current mythical or religious ideologies are failing at
motivating the masses towards more fulfilling lives. He does touch on Buddhist
thought throughout this book though only flippantly giving it much credit by stating:

“The Buddhists have a good piece of advice as to how this can be done: ‘Act
always as if the future of the Universe depended on what you did, while laughing
at yourself for thinking that whatever you do makes any difference...’ It is this
serious playfulness, this combination of concern and humility, that makes it possible
to be both engaged and carefree at the same time.”

Csikszentmihalyi says the first step to finding this sort of mindset is to gain a clearer
understanding of one’s self, being careful to discern when we are acting in line with
ego, or impulse.

“Being without a sense of self, an animal will exert itself until its biological needs
are satisfied, but not much further...

The only viable alternative is to follow a less radical course, and make sure that
one gets to know one's self, and understands its peculiarities. It is then possible
to separate those needs that really help us to navigate through life, from those
malignant growths that sprout from them and make our lives miserable...

Ever since the Delphic oracle started giving the sensible advice ‘Know thyself’
some three thousand years ago, people who thought about these things agreed
that one must first come to know and then master the ego before embarking on
a good life.”

Csikszentmihalyi then attempts to argue how psychoanalysis has failed many people in
attempting to help them to be more aware by looking into the past and constantly
ruminating over it. He argues that knowing is not enough to help transcend and
learn to apply values to living a better life. To some extent I agree that Psychology
can improperly be utilized to such a degree that one gets “stuck” in the analysis of
things. It takes a skilled and more holistic practitioner to aid one towards affective
wellness. I dislike that Csikszentmihalyi attacked Psychology and his only follow-up
is to “focus more on the positives in your life” and to be more “future-oriented”, as
he himself has acknowledged that Happiness is not necessarily the final goal towards
a fulfilling life. While focusing on the positives is beneficial, it doesn’t necessarily
detangle the web of unconscious compulsions and subsequent repeating behaviours
that may damage our success in life. I believe Csikszentmihalyi is taking a very
modern perspective that ‘rumination’ is merely a negative activity that predisposes
one towards depression, whereas taking considerable introspective thought towards
one’s life is actually productive and not always negative. I think he would agree that
there is purpose in making an effort to be more aware, but insists on more proactive
psychologies designed to help one apply more positive change in one’s daily life and
aid towards success.

I myself have seen a rise in this sort of psychology in the past decade which includes
such modalities as Motivational Talk Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Positive
Psychology. I believe these are very good “tools” for aiding certain individuals towards
this end, but I don’t believe they themselves are the key towards a whole therapeutic
success.

And Finally, Csikszentmihalyi insists that if we wish to live better lives we must be
responsible with our time and “to take ownership of our actions.” This is akin to the
Buddhist perspective of living with Mindfulness, and to Plato’s concept in his Apology;
“The unexamined life is not worth living”.

SUMMARY & FINAL THOUGHTS

To be honest I would have preferred to read a book about Mindfulness, Buddhist
thought, Existentialist Psychology or Ancient Philosophy. This book felt a bit cut off
and rambly. I didn't feel any astounding truths as I read it & often when reading
psychology books I do. While I read through this book fairly quickly, I didn't feel a
sense of "flow" from it. It didn't really provide answers on how to find flow for
myself, it merely described the author's own journey to find where flow has existed.
Much of these writings are my own extrapolation and attempt at utilizing and
expanding upon what he’s presented.

Instilled with male thought, I found it challenged more than empathized. Personally,
It didn't fully acknowledge or transcend for me. I like the concept of Flow and
observing the examples that exist in the world, but I still am left wondering if I can
ever find that for myself, sustain it in such a way that I can survive, and that
contributes to the world positively, before I die. At least in writing these articles I
have performed a process to savour and fully engage the material, and as for
some food for thought, here are some of my takeaways from FLOW:

FLOW INVOLVES:

-Work, as this is where it is most commonly found

-Both Unambiguous feedback and reward for the sake of engagement

-Having Goals and managing one’s goals realistically

 “The very act of setting the goal will take much of the sting out of a chore.”

-Challenges that match skill to stretch our skills, help us grow and to fulfill our
potential, an interest in solving problems

“the processes of growth resulted in fulfilling peak experiences. These involved a
consistency between self and environment; and he referred to this as harmony
between "inner requiredness" and "outer requiredness," or between "I want" and
"I must." When this happens, "one freely, happily, and wholeheartedly embraces
one's determinants. One chooses and wills one's fate."

-To control attention & have a sense of control. Be aware and make use of one’s
will power

-Being Aware of “How” you are engaging: your attitude, feelings & the effects
of your environment. Participate in the world on its own terms

“the love of fate corresponds to a willingness to accept ownership of one's actions,
whether these are spontaneous or imposed from the outside. It is this acceptance
that leads to personal growth, and provides the feeling of serene enjoyment which
removes the burden of entropy from everyday life.”

-Tolerating solitude in order to engage in mental work and active leisure, such as
hobbies

-Creativity & appreciating art (Which Csikszentmihalyi only briefly touched on) but
I believe to be important in recognizing our human condition and appreciating the
wonders of it, as well as learning to express ourselves and to engage in visual forms
of play. This can also be very therapeutic

-Curiosity, to be surprised, to learn new things

“I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then
I shall be one of those who make things beautiful." Nietzsche

-Investing energy into Relationships, to empathize

-Appreciate religion / philosophy / psychology / myth as these are avenues for self
discovery and awareness and help one to also be attuned to the greater good and
something greater than one’s self

COMING SOON - a POST-Jungian opinion on What Matters Most